When I first meet people socially, I take them at face value. If they seem sincere and nice I believe them to be so – especially if they elude good energy. But some people are particularly adept at presenting themselves well when self-promotion is paramount; e.g., such as for sales or political situations. As a result, I like to watch and wait to see if the actions follow the words:
Do they, Do as they say? Are they really as nice as they seem, or is there something else lurking behind the smiling exterior?
Only by observing people move through a number of situations can one really tell the tale. In this way, I can allow trust to build over time rather than providing it completely all at once. I call this concept: discernment. Discernment is a decision making process by which one carefully considers or discerns whether to trust someone at all, and then how much of one’s trust to put in another person.
Think of others as falling into categories such as those you know well and those you don’t; then break the two big categories of positive energy and negative energy into further sub-divisions. The positive category would lend itself to close friends, some work-mates, loved ones – hopefully including family members although you might not trust all of your blood relatives so you might put some in a different basket, so to speak. The negative category would include strangers, criminals, and acquaintances yet to be known better and thus move to a higher level of trust based on your personal discernment scale.
Now we all know the smiling door to door salesman-type or even the phone telemarketer that’s out to get money for a cause or a product. We must be concerned for those that would take advantage for more sinister reasons – Ponzi investment schemes for example: if it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is!
So how do you decide when to allow someone to move up on your discernment/trust scale? It’s important to do your homework. Unless there’s a fire, an impending event, or crash situation, take your time to scope out the situation before giving someone your total trust. In any business situation, get to know the individual personally to establish “relationship” as most people are reluctant to take advantage of their “friends”. But beware, since not everyone has a conscience. This can be a tough lesson for some to learn. Work can be a tough world through which to navigate if you think everyone is your friend; use your discernment and take it slow to avoid becoming a victim. This can be an issue for women who want to feel liked and so will often work extra or take less money thinking that the workplace is like a family. Don’t kid yourself! Some of your workmates may be nice people, but ultimately, there’s some service or product as the outcome and someone has to do the work. I’ve seen it happen too many times. Be nice, but ask for what you deserve when the time comes. But this is a whole subject in itself. For now, let’s just look at the trust part.
Even when I left a sculpture that I had made with a jewelry store who took it on consignment, I asked for paperwork. I’ve known the owner for many years and have done business with him during this time so I do trust him. Yet, it’s good business practice to have paperwork. Just because I trust him doesn’t mean I leave good business behind.
In the end, it’s between you and your inner light, “your guidance” to provide warning signs when something is amiss, then to guide you in the right direction. Capture your feelings about people and situations in your journal so that you can become more comfortable with your discernment decisions. Even try inspirational writing to see what the next steps should be.
Remember, Illegitimi non carborundum don’t let the bastards wear you down!